Stop Choosing the Wrong One

As of late, I've been ready this book called "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough". And I know women are probably groaning at the thought of settling, but hear me out. The book is written by a woman who after years of dating plenty of Mr. Rights and Mr. Right Nows found herself 41 and single (yikes!). The author talks about how so many guys courted her while she was in her 20s but as the mid 30s rolled around, it seemed her dream man would not come. So, I've taken a few points from the book to share.

1. Woman should have a list of things they want. We all have a list, whether it's subconscious or actually written down. The list should realistically be tailored to 5 things. Some woman want a guy that is 6ft, makes 6 figures, well educated, etc. Please pull your head out of your ass and wake up. These things aren't important when choosing a life mate. How much does someone's height matter compared to if they are a good father? Why does their salary matter if they're cheap and selfish? The list needs to have some real qualities of value, not about status.

2. Ultimately, you should understand WHY you have certain things on your list. Example: you say you want them to have a college degree. Maybe that's on your list because you think you'll be able to hold an intelligent conversation with them. Well, you don't have to have a college degree to be intelligent and I know a whole lot of fools with a piece of paper...so....yea. Or, you say you want someone that makes a certain amount of money, when really you want someone that can provide security or someone financially responsible.

3. A lot of women want ideal guy, but you aren't an ideal woman. Everybody wants a 10. But everybody is flawed. You want somebody that can handle your mood swings and bad attitude but they better not have a bad day. Women have been taught that they deserve the best. Girl Power, we making our own money, we independent... all that is true, but I don't know one woman that wouldn't love to come home to a loving man at night. So, women need to be realistic. You might think a man is ideal for you, but are YOU the ideal woman in his eyes??? We all think we're a catch and I'm not undermining any woman's achievements/assets. I'm just saying be realistic. We ain't all 10s. Even if you got the looks, don't mean you have it all.

4. Stop limiting your options. Women can meet the perfect guy but rule him out because he's in the "friends" zone or you just don't feel that way about him. Now, I'm not saying there shouldn't be chemistry and sparks. You can't force something that's not there. But while you're chasing that bum that's gonna dog you out, you might have a guy in your corner that wants to be you're everything. So, even if the 1st date isn't the best, if the guy is showing interest, go on a 2nd. They might have been nervous on the first date. Just because someone doesn't meet the ideal man you've placed on a pedestal in your mind doesn't mean he isn't the perfect guy for you.

5. Women have clocks, men don't. Men can settle down when they want. There are a lot of men that do want families. So, strike while the iron is hot ladies. I say this because when a man wants to get married, he can do it. This is why dudes can string along 1 girl for years and then turn around 6 months later and be married to someone else. Find someone that you can be with and enjoy for the long run. You don't need to share ALL the same hobbies and like ALL the same things, you just need some common ground, understanding and love - - all the good stuff that makes a relationship last.

I'm not the love guru or anything so take it with a grain of salt. I'm just saying that in my next relationship, I'm in it for the long run. I have my priorities straight and when I meet a man that loves and accepts me for me, wants what I want and is trying to build something together, it's on and poppin!

Here's to love!