Make it Work

I hate being told that something isn't possible, especially when I know it is. Everyone has a life. Every grown up has responsibilities. All of these people also have time for the things they want to have time for.

When I think about the chaos of life and maintaining relationships, one work comes to mind: compromising. Now, there are going to be some things you never compromise: your religion, your morals, your child's well-being... to name a few. But I think almost anything else can be compromised. I feel like, a relationship really can't work without some degree of compromise and I mean that in terms of friendships, marriages and any other kind of relationship. Two unmoving rocks aren't going to get too far together. I have always held the ability to compromise pretty high on my list of requirements. Mainly because I think I can be difficult. But what do you want from me... I'm an only child! I need someone that's gonna work with me. And I don't have to get my way right away, but trust and believe I will not be denied.

To me failure for any relationship is when people stop meeting each other half way. One of my bestfriends is over an hour drive a way. But the distance doesn't deter us from making it work. Even when we were states apart, we checked in and still made time for each other. To me, that's what it's about. Making it work... going the distance. Stuff like that let's me know that we'll be friends for life. Even my friends that have kids and have their boos, I feel like we always make time for each other. Maybe it's only once a month... or less. Maybe it's only a phone call or an email. But I cherish those friendships so much because when I'm on the phone or when I finally see them, it's like no time has past and that's still my homegirl. It's strange how that works.

But now I wonder if the same could apply to my man. I think so. I still believe compromise is a must. He might want me to cook everyday... I might just wanna do Sunday dinner. That can be compromised. I think the key is giving enough slack without giving yourself away. Like, if I don't like sports, I may say, "Go ahead and enjoy the game with your boys boo, I'm good." So, even though I'm not sharing in his activity, I'm not holding him back either. I don't want someone to do everything I want to do, I just want the support.

And unfortunately relationships can fall apart when one person feels like they're doing all the compromising. It's gotta be give and take. But so many people want to have their cake and eat it too (i actually hate that saying cuz I do wanna eat my cake). I guess I say all this because I believe anything can work out given the right amount of communication and compromise. And it's just unfortunate that people 1) can't communicate their needs or their situation and 2) try to give a little, even if it's only a little. I give people A's for effort but I'm surprised at how many people rather throw in the towel than put in the effort. At the end of the day, I'm not going to be the only one trying to make it work. I'm going to be with the person that's willing to work with me.

Love, Ushie